Lots of young people have seen pornography: almost half of 16 to 17-year-olds said that they had recently seen pornography when asked by one study, and it’s not just boys.
Young people might search for it themselves online, find it by accident or be shown it by someone else. They might see it as a healthy way of young people addressing their curiosities about sex, of accessing imagery to masturbate to, or exploring their sexual thoughts and feelings.
But pornography can give out unhelpful and unhealthy messages about sex and relationships. It can reinforce unhelpful gender stereotypes, confuse or ignore crucial understanding about consent and respect, and make young people feel dissatisfied with their bodies.
It can be a shock to find out that your child has been watching pornography. It’s important to talk to them openly about what they might have seen and make sure they understand some of the risks, know the law, what is and is not legal to watch and share, and what they can do if they see or hear something that worries them.
If your child sees something illegal online, you should help them to report it. Anyone can anonymously report illegal online content to the Internet Watch Foundation.
Ask them to think about why they are looking at pornography in the first place and explore with them any worries or questions they may have about what they have seen.
If you’re not sure how to start the conversation, these tips might help.
- These conversations can be embarrassing for everybody, so find a time when you can chat privately and avoid saying things that can make your child feel ashamed.
- Talk to your child about how they feel about what they have seen, how else they might be able to satisfy their curiosity or needs, how they might know if watching pornography was causing problems for them and, if so, how to get any help they might need.
- Some young people look at pornography to learn about sex because it is so easily accessible. Encourage them to find information elsewhere, including websites like Brook.
- If they keep looking at pornography, encourage them to be careful about what websites they visit, try to minimise the amount of time they spend and help them avoid inappropriate search terms, like ‘teen sex’ which could lead them to more risky parts of the internet where they might be exposed to illegal material.
- You don’t need to try and solve everything by yourself. Help your child to identify other trusted adults they might also feel comfortable going to for advice.
- Don’t Forget to Listen – Talking about sexual behaviour should be a two-way conversation. Listen to what your child has to say and ask them questions
More information is available if your child gets into trouble for their online behaviour.
Concerned about a young person's pornography use?
Contact our anonymous Stop It Now helpline to speak to our advisors. You don’t have to give us any identifying information, so can remain anonymous.
