Know the signs - and be alert
'Warning sign' is another way of saying 'opportunity to prevent and protect'. Acting on signs early can prevent abuse from happening or escalating. Look out for changes in behaviour and think about the guidance below.
Ensure lines of communication are open
Children and young people need to know they can talk to us about anything that is bothering them - even if they think we will be upset or cross. Abusers often rely on the victim feeling shame or guilt to keep them silent. Be in the habit of talking to your child about their experiences, their friends and what they get up to. As children grow up conversations should include topics such as what are healthy/unhealthy relationships.
Get to know what they know
At the onset of puberty children can find it difficult to talk to adults, particularly their parents, about sex and relationships. Parents can find it equally hard to talk to their child. Know what sex and relationship education your child is getting at school so that you can reinforce positive messages and fill any gaps. Useful resources for young people include:- www.brook.org.uk and www.bishuk.com. You could look these up together so your child knows where to go if they want to.
Know their friends
Knowing our children's friends enables us to monitor who is likely to be a positive influence on them and we can encourage them to take care of each other. Strong friendships also mean your child's friends are more likely to tell someone if your child is getting into trouble. Secrecy around friends could indicate unsuitability.
Listen to children and young people
Listen to children and young people and look out for things they may be showing (warning signs in their behaviour), rather than telling. Off-hand comments could trigger a concern and difficult behaviour could be a sign that something is wrong.
Take an active interest in their online life
Take as much interest in your child's online life as their offline one because abusers can use the internet to groom their victims. Talk about the sites they use, talk about the importance of not giving out personal information and not meeting anyone in person they have only met online. Talk about the dangers of posting sexual images online, and of 'sexting' (the sending or receiving of sexual images via text message).
Take time
Children are more vulnerable to sexual abuse and exploitation if their emotional needs are not being met and they feel they have no one they can talk to. Regular conversations give children the opportunity to talk about concerns they have sooner rather than later. You can use story lines on popular soap operas or news items to talk about sexual abuse and give your child the message they can talk to you about anything.
If you think your child is associating with potentially abusive people
Collecting as much identifying information as possible such as car registration numbers and descriptions of people can assist the police to intervene if necessary. Keep a diary of events such as times your child has gone missing or unexplained phone calls they have received. If a child or young person is in immediate danger, call 999 or contact your local police.If you are concerned that a child is at risk of sexual exploitation, discuss your concerns with family, friends, the school or others in your child's life.
Our Stop It Now helpline provides confidential advice on 0808 1000 900. You can also contact local Children's Services teams directly.
Taking early action can prevent a child from being abused.
