A first-hand account from Lily*, an advisor who has worked on the Stop It Now chat service for two years.
Being a chat advisor on the Stop It Now live chat is one of the most rewarding roles you can imagine. But let’s keep it real; it’s not always easy. The conversations we have every day are challenging, raw, and often life-changing.
So here’s a glimpse behind the screen. A day in the life. The good. The tough. And why your support can help sustain the service we provide when people need us the most.
My first message pops up on the screen at 9am.
A parent is panicking about a risk to their child’s safety. They discovered their child had been engaging in sexual chats with others online. They’re scared, unsure what to do, and worried that something isn’t right.
I listen. I reassure.
Together, we work through practical steps they can take right now to protect their child. We discuss options for parental blocks, online safety measures and talking to their child about who they’ve been chatting to online.
I share resources for both them and their child that could be useful. They know they can reach out again.
By the end of the chat, they’re calmer. They have a plan.
I’m happy I could help.
Later, I chat with a man struggling with his own sexual thoughts and behaviours towards children. He’s ashamed, stressed, completely overwhelmed, and he doesn’t know what to do.
In that moment, I’m his lifeline. We explore child protection, how he can put boundaries in place to keep children safe, where he can get help, and how he can take the first steps toward change.
It can be intense. Emotionally draining.
But every chat, and every helpline call matters if we are to prevent harm.
And when chats are especially tough, our team supports each other. No advisor carries these chats alone.
Chats come in real time. One minute, I might be talking to someone who was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. Next, it’s someone worried about their sexual thoughts and wanting help to stop this escalating.
Typed letters become your window into someone’s world. You learn to sense emotional shifts from just a few lines of text.
Some chats end abruptly. Some are inappropriate. Some are heartbreaking.
But many are hopeful. You know that for some people, this chat is the moment they choose safety – to take some action to protect children.
Some chats stay with me long after my shift ends.
I don’t often know what happens next. We don’t follow up with people as our service is confidential, and chatters remain anonymous. I have to trust that the support I have given makes a difference, and I have prevented a child from being harmed.
But it’s not always easy not knowing what someone has chosen to do next – especially when someone has expressed suicidal thoughts.
There’s nothing like feeling someone’s tone slowly shift – their fear softening. It’s so rewarding to know that you’ve made a difference.
Or read a chatter say, “Thank you – now I know what to do.”
Or support someone who wants desperately to change and choose a safer path.
These moments are everything.
Our live chat, part of the Stop It Now helpline, has only been running for five years, but it has helped thousands of people take action to protect children.
Last year, across our chat service, phone line, and secure email service, we responded to an average of 75 requests for help every day. But with costs rising, we need more funds to support Stop It Now and the advisors who answer the urgent calls, chats and emails for support that come through every day.
Your donation today will help us continue answering chats – helping more people take a brave step toward safety or change. Nearly half (47%) of people who choose chat are unknown to authorities. That means, through live chat, we’re intervening early to prevent offending.
Child sexual abuse is preventable. But prevention only happens when help is there, and often before anyone else knows there’s a potential risk of harm.
How your gift could help us:
Every donation, no matter the size, helps us protect children from sexual harm.
*name changed
Celebrating five years of live chat
For over 20 years, our Stop It Now helpline has been a vital lifeline for those working to prevent child sexual abuse.
To mark five years of our live chat service, we’re asking for your support to help us raise £15,000.
