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It’s unpleasant to think about child sexual abuse. But learning and talking about it means we’re better prepared to prevent and respond to it.

Upon reading these frequently asked questions, why not have a look at our Family Safety Plan pages for advice on steps you can take to protect children?

What is child sexual abuse
HM Government has produced guidance for professionals, entitled Working Together to Safeguard Children (DCSF- Department for Children Schools and Families 2010) In this the definition of child sexual abuse is as follows:

Forcing or enticing a child or young person to take part in sexual activities, not necessarily involving a high level of violence, whether or not the child is aware of what is happening. The activities may involve physical contact, including assault by penetration (for example, rape or oral sex) or non-penetrative acts such as masturbation, kissing, rubbing and touching outside of clothing. They may also include non-contact activities, such as involving children in looking at, or in the production of, sexual images, watching sexual activities, encouraging children to behave in sexually inappropriate ways, or grooming a child in preparation for abuse (including via the internet).This would include prostitution and sexual exploitation of a child for commercial or financial gain.

To summarise child sexual abuse includes touching and non-touching activity. Some examples of touching activity include:

  • touching a child’s genitals or private parts for sexual pleasure
  • making a child touch someone else’s genitals, encouraging a child to play sexual games or have sex; putting objects or body parts (like fingers, tongue or penis) inside the vagina, mouth or in the anus of a child for sexual pleasure

Some examples of non-touching activity include:

  • showing pornography to a child
  • deliberately exposing an adult’s genitals to a child
  • photographing a child in sexual poses
  • encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts
  • inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom

As well as the activities described above, there is also the serious and growing problem of people making and downloading sexual images of children on the Internet. To view child sexual abuse images is to participate in the abuse of a child. People who look at this material need help to prevent their behaviour from becoming even more serious.

What is the impact of child sexual abuse?
The impact of sexual abuse varies from child to child.

For many, the damage is enormous, with the impact still being felt into adulthood, affecting all aspects of their life.

What help is there for victims?
NAPAC is the National Association for People Abused in Childhood.

It is a registered charity providing support and information for people abused in childhood. Visit www.napac.org.uk/.

SURVIVORS UK provides information, support and counselling for men who have been raped or sexually abused. Thousands of men contact them each year. Visit www.survivorsuk.org/ or call their national helpline on 0845 1221201. Helpline hours: 7pm-9.30pm Monday and Tuesday and 11pm-2.30pm on Thursdays.

These organisations are able to assist those looking for help, support or information.

How widespread is child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse is largely a hidden crime, so it is difficult to accurately estimate the number of people who are sexually abused at some time during their childhood.

It is estimated that one in six children experiences sexual abuse before the age of 16.*

* Child Maltreatment in the UK, NSPCC 2011

What is the biggest myth around child sexual abuse
Very often media including TV, radio and newspapers cover stories about children who are abused, abducted and even murdered, usually by strangers but it is important to know that these are not typical crimes.

Sexual abusers are more likely to be people we know, and could well be people we care about more than 8 out of 10 children who are sexually abused know their abuser. They are family members or friends, neighbours or babysitters – many hold responsible positions in society. Some will seek out employment which brings them into contact with children, some will hold positions of trust which can help to convince other adults that they are beyond reproach, making it hard for adults to raise their concerns.

Why do people commit sexual abuse?
It is not easy to understand how seemingly ordinary people can sexually abuse children.

Some people recognise that it is wrong and are deeply unhappy about what they are doing. Others believe their behaviour is OK and that what they do shows their love for children. Some, but not all, have been abused themselves; others come from violent or unhappy family backgrounds.

Knowing why people sexually abuse children does not excuse their behaviour, but it may help us understand what is happening. If abusers face the reality of what they are doing and come forward, or if someone reports them, effective treatment programmes are available. These programmes are designed to help people understand and control their behaviour, reducing risk to children and building a safer society. Knowing about the possibility of treatment for abusers helps children and families too.

By getting close to children:
People who want to abuse children often build a relationship with the child, their parents and other caring adults who want to protect them. Many are good at making 'friends' with children and those who are close to them. Some may befriend parents who are experiencing difficulties, such as isolation, emotional problems, financial pressures. They may offer to baby-sit or offer support with childcare and other responsibilities. Some seek trusted positions in the community which put them in contact with children, such as childcare, schools, children's groups and sports teams. Some find places such as arcades, playgrounds, parks, swimming pools and around schools where they can get to know children.

By silencing children:
People who sexually abuse children may offer them gifts or treats, and sometimes combine these with threats about what will happen if the child says 'no' or tells someone. They may make the child afraid of being hurt physically, but more usually the threat is about what may happen if they tell, for example, the family breaking up or father going to prison. In order to keep the abuse secret the abuser will often play on the child's fear, embarrassment, shame or guilt about what is happening, perhaps convincing them that no one will believe them. Sometimes the abuser will make the child believe that he or she enjoyed it and wanted it to happen. There may be other reasons why a child stays silent and doesn't tell. Very young or disabled children may lack the words or means of communication to let people know what is going on.

They are family members or friends, neighbours or babysitters - many hold responsible positions in society. Some people who abuse children have adult sexual relationships and are not solely, or even mainly, sexually interested in children. Abusers come from all classes, cultures, ethnic and religious backgrounds and may be homosexual or heterosexual. Most abusers are men, but some are women. They are also other children and young people. You cannot pick out an abuser in a crowd.

In 2000 a study was conducted by the NSPCC which highlighted some of the reasons why children were unable to tell:

"it was nobody else's business"
"didn't think it was serious or wrong"
"didn't want parents to find out"
"didn't want friends to find out"
"didn't want the authorities to find out"
"was frightened"
"didn't think would be believed"
"had been threatened by abuser"

Child Maltreatment in the UK, NSPCC 2000

It is easier to dismiss such thoughts and put them down to imagination. However it is better to discuss the situation with someone than to discover later that we were right to be worried. And remember, we are not alone.

Thousands of people every year discover that someone in their family or circle of friends has abused a child. Children who are abused and their families need professional help to recover from their experience. Appropriate action can lead to abuse being prevented, and children who are being abused receiving protection and help to recover. It can also lead to the abuser getting effective treatment to stop abusing and becoming a safer member of our community. If the abuser is someone close to us, we need to get support for ourselves too.

But very few people realise that other children can sometimes present a risk.

A third of those who have sexually abused a child are themselves under the age of 18.
Many children are abused by other children or young people, often older than themselves. Unless the problem is recognised and help is provided, a young person who abuses other children may continue abusing as an adult.

This is an especially difficult issue to deal with, partly because it is hard for us to think of children doing such things, but also because it is not always easy to tell the difference between normal sexual exploration and abusive behaviour. Children, particularly in the younger age groups, may engage in such behaviour with no knowledge that it is wrong or abusive. For this reason, it may be more accurate to talk about sexually harmful behaviour rather than abuse.

For more information visit our age appropriate sexual behaviour pages.

Some of them have been emotionally, sexually or physically abused themselves, while others may have witnessed physical or emotional violence at home. For some children it may be a passing phase, but the harm they cause to other children can be serious and some will go on to abuse children in adulthood if they do not receive help. For this reason it is vital to seek advice and help as soon as possible.

For more help and support

The experienced advisors on our confidential Stop It Now helpline (0808 1000 900) can help talk things through. You can stay anonymous and don’t have to give your real name, location or any contact details. If you’re not ready to speak to anyone yet, you can also use our live chat or send a secure email. 

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