The NSPCC estimates that 1 in 20 children in the UK have experienced sexual abuse. This is a horrifying figure – however, it likely underrepresents the true scope of the issue. Child sexual abuse often goes unreported.
Efforts to prevent child sexual abuse have rightly received attention from academics, policymakers, and the media.
Still, critical aspects of preventing and responding to child sexual abuse remain under-discussed and uncomfortable for many to confront. One of those is the reality that women can and do sexually abuse children.
Breaking the silence on difficult truths
When we think of people who sexually harm children, we typically think of men. This assumption is grounded in evidence—the vast majority of recorded offences are committed by men (Brown, 2020). But what if this lens is too narrow?
It is difficult for us as a society to acknowledge that women also sexually abuse children. The thought of women harming children goes very much against what we often view women to be: the nurturers, the carers, and certainly not sexually harmful.
Although women account for a minute proportion of recorded offences, victim studies show more adult survivors sharing their experiences of being sexually abused by women than researchers might expect. Some research estimates that women may perpetrate abuse at a rate five times higher than what is officially recorded. In one piece of research, 11% of victim survivors reported that a woman was responsible for abusing them.
Women are reaching out for help from us
There are women in the UK concerned about their sexual thoughts and looking for help. Through our work, we speak directly with women who have offended or are at risk of doing so.
In recent months, we found that 10% of the people who contacted our anonymous Stop It Now helpline, who said they were concerned about their sexual thoughts towards children, were women.
As well as engaging anonymously with these women through our helpline, statutory agencies also refer women to us who may pose a risk to children within their families, for assessments and interventions.
These women are often not seeking to justify the thoughts or behaviours that they are reaching out for help to stop. Many are experiencing distress, fear, and shame.
Lydia’s* story: seeking help with intrusive thoughts before harm happens
Lydia, aged 27, is one such woman. She reached out to Stop It Now in late 2023, seeking support for unwanted thoughts toward young children. Although she said she felt confident she would never act on them, she found them deeply distressing and intrusive. She often avoided leaving the house due to the fear of seeing a child in public and triggering the thoughts.
Lydia had already contacted her GP and had been referred to mental health services. Over the course of a year, she also contacted the helpline and live chat services multiple times. She engaged with an expert practitioner, who helped her understand and manage her thoughts using coping strategies such as:
- Identifying and tracking triggers through a ‘trigger diary’.
- Fantasy replacement techniques.
- Breathing and mindfulness exercises.
- Focusing on self-care and wellbeing routines.
Over time, Lydia told us the intrusive thoughts about children came less frequently. She credited this change to her new knowledge and skills — not to eliminate thoughts overnight, but to manage and prevent harm.
Help and support are available – for everyone
Sexual abuse of children is a preventable crime. But for prevention to work, we need to recognise that sexual risk does not always look the way we expect.
Women experiencing concerning thoughts or behaviours may not know where to turn. Friends, family members, or even professionals may overlook potential risk – simply because women are more likely to be perceived as safe. Behaviour that might be interpreted as concerning or a red flag in men might be more easily “explained away” coming from a woman.
Our Stop It Now helpline provides non-judgmental, anonymous, and confidential advice. Whether you are worried about your own thoughts or concerned about someone else, we are here to help you take meaningful action to keep children safe and protected.
We support professionals working with women who might pose a risk to children
We also support professionals who are working with women who pose a risk to children. We can provide:
- Specialist risk assessments,
- Protective capacity assessments,
- Direct intervention work with at-risk women to help lower risk,
- Training on understanding women who offend, available to individuals or teams, and can be tailored to organisational needs.
We need to open the dialogue about women who pose a sexual risk. We need to recognise the uncomfortable truth that it can and does happen. Doing so will mean we can be more effective in safeguarding children, and begin to offer services to those women who are concerned about themselves. We can protect children from harm.
Recognise. Respond. Prevent.
If you are concerned about your own or someone else’s thoughts or behaviour towards children, contact Stop It Now for confidential support. Together, we can protect children by confronting hard truths and bringing hidden risks to light.
By recognising the reality, creating space for honest conversations, and offering pathways to help everyone who needs it, we move closer to a society where child sexual abuse is not inevitable.
To prevent child sexual abuse, we must be willing to talk about all forms of risk, even those that challenge societal norms. While the idea that women can sexually harm children is uncomfortable, silence protects no one.
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