Because child sexual abuse is so difficult to think about, some people find it easier to deny that there is a problem.
Parents in this situation might think, ‘My child would have told me if they were being abused and they haven’t – so it can’t be happening’.
People who sexually abuse children rely on privacy and secrecy to make sure their abuse isn’t discovered and reported. But, even when a child hasn’t said anything, there can be physical or behavioural signs that a child is being abused – children will often show us rather than tell us that something is upsetting them.
Find out about warning signs of sexual abuse in children and adults and how to respond to them.
Warning signs in adults
People who sexually abuse children are difficult to spot in a crowd – but you can look for the warning signs in their behaviour. Watch the film to learn what signs to look for and how to respond.
The warning signs are not always obvious. But there may be cause for concern about the behaviour of an adult or other young person if they:
- Refuse to allow a child enough privacy or to make their own decisions about personal matters
- Insist on physical affection, such as kissing, hugging, wrestling or tickling even when the child does not want it
- Are overly interested in the sexual development of a child or teenager
- Discuss or share sexual jokes or sexual material with a child or young person, online or offline
- Insist on time alone with a child, with no interruptions
- Spend most of their spare time with children and have little interest in spending time with people their own age
- Regularly offer to babysit children for free or take children on overnight outings alone
- Buy children expensive gifts or give them money for no apparent reason
- Frequently walk in on children or teenagers in the bathroom
- Treat a particular child as a favourite, making them feel ‘special’ compared with others in the family
- Pick on a particular child
One of these signs doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is a sexual risk or that abuse is happening. But all should be taken seriously; and a number of these signs in combination should get our urgent attention.
What you can do if you see warning signs
Don’t wait for ‘proof’ of child sexual abuse – if you think a child is in immediate danger then call 999 to speak to the police.
Visit our family safety plan pages for information and advice on the things to think about and to keep your children safe.
If you are concerned about how a parent, cousin, sibling, friend, or neighbour behaves around children, you can talk through your concerns with experienced advisors on the confidential Stop It Now! helpline, or if you’re not ready to speak to someone you can use our live chat or send a secure message.
Want to know more?
Don’t wait for ‘proof’ of child sexual abuse – if you think a child is in immediate danger then call 999 to speak to the police.
If you’re worried about how an adult or young person you know behaves around children, you can get confidential support from the Stop It Now! helpline: 0808 1000 900. If you’re not ready to speak to someone yet, you can use our live chat or send a secure message.
